Gaucho's: Great Steaks and...well that's about it


Gaucho's: Great Steaks and...well that's about it

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Written by Matt Landau

Saturday, August 25 2007

Gaucho's is located on the trendy corner of Calle Uruguay so that it's packed all the time is not too surprising. It's known as one of, if not the best, steak houses here in Panama and granted, they prepare very nice steaks.

When we arrived, at around 7:30, there must have been twenty anxious servers there to greet us: all just standing there looking at us, almost like some sort of waiter brothel. One hooker waiter stepped out from the pack to show us to our table. I don't get to choose which I want? I thought to myself.

He led us to a table in the back and the restaurant which was pretty empty, surprising for Gaucho's standards. The menu is decidedly varied, obviously the main show being meat. They also have salads which are about $7 each as well as a variety of starters, none of which particularly tickled my esophagus. But the salads that arrived were quite fresh and vibrant: crisp lettuces, well-ripened tomatoes, and a couple of different dressings that were tangy.

Our hooker waiter seemed to be on top of his game. He was dressed sort of like a bull fighter or something, and was always there with new drinks when we needed him. He spoke steakhouse English which, if your not familiar, consists mainly of nouns and adjectives such as flank steak and medium rare. Feeling trendy, I ordered the skirt steak which is supposedly making a comeback in NYC restaurant circles and in addition we figured to try the all-too-nebulous "pepper steak".

While waiting for the food, and noshing on some over baked boule, I noted the décor to be a bit drab. It looked, to me, not unlike any mid-western diner we have back in the states. Nothing like the exciting vibe of Peter Lugar's or, god forbid the cheesy cowboy spirit of your standard Argentinean steak house as in, hey, let me wear a big had and cut meats off a skewer right near your face to get you in the gunslingin' mood. But you know what? You're in Panama, so you give the décor at Gaucho's the benefit of the doubt.

The steaks that arrived were done perfectly. The grill, which you can see through a glass pane, produces huge billows of smoke and is fiery hot probably all six hours of dinner-shift operation. The steaks were accompanied by traditional chimichurri and some sort of tomato topping. With them arrived potatoes which were simple but good. That seems to be the theme of the restaurant, and admirably so. You're not gonna get any microgreens here or fontina cheese foam. Nope, Gaucho's is all about simple steaks and super simple side dishes.

By the time we left, the restaurant was packed. And all the hooker waiters were running around like some type of chaotic ballet. At one point I have to confess, I saw the hooker waiter in the main dining room sending a text message on his cell phone. Hilarious!

Don't come to Gaucho's expecting more than great steaks. Because you're not going to find it. You won't find too much innovative cuisine nor a particularly electrifying ambiance. What you will find is simple food done right. And hooker waiters of course.

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