I snuck into Atlapa the way I usually do to avoid the long lines: through the back door. Simply carry a large box and when you get to the guard, sign your name as something that sounds like a delivery man such as Cletus. The convention floor was bright and lit-up like a spaceship, hundreds of people buzzing around like confused galactic gerbils trying to decide which cheese to eat. Mountain developments, beach projects, city ventures: Panama real estate appeared to be hotter than a fast ferret in a forest fire.

The Atlapa Convention Center is essentially one extremely large room separated by removable dividers and velvet ropes. Set up along every visible wall and open space were booths advertising one shiny new project or another, most of which were being sold at only a fraction of what you'd expect. Sweet drinks, crunchy snacks, and smiling faces were around almost every corner at this year's annual Expo-Vivienda Convention—basically a who's who of real estate in Panama. The hours of the event were very bizarre: it was open from 2 in the afternoon til 10 at night. Very strange.

Impulse buys were also ubiquitous. Left and right, you'd see newly arrived vacationers signing their name on contracts as if they were buying Chicklets in the checkout lane of a grocery store. I am consistently amazed how people will, in the thick of this sort of gold rush, so often convince themselves into buying something—subconsciously overlooking downfalls in an effort to fulfill a flight of imagination. How can you buy something you've never seen before? Shiny handouts and oversized mascots seemed to be everywhere—the entire vibe of the place reminded me when I used to hunt sharks off the coast of Burma: a feeding frenzy with everyone trying to get in on a piece of the action. Units were selling like hotcakes. In the back corner of Atlapa in fact, they were coincidentally selling hotcakes for fifty cents.

The most impressive booth facades were those of Inversiones Natasha, Embassy Club, and the always-excessive Empressas Bern: booths that more resembled small, well-decorated homes complete with flowers, couches, and snack offerings. I was able to consume quite a few free candies until they realized I wasn't there to buy real estate, at which point I was briskly shooed away. “Those are for customers who are going to buy real estate” one lady at the Provivienda booth told me. “Not scavengers like you.” I had never thought of myself as a scavenger, but I liked the concept, perhaps hovering beside an Italian restaurant table, ready to pounce like a hawk as soon as the guest was full of his gnocci.

While I should have been there focusing on investment trends, I instead became memorized by other things such as free beach bags and monogrammed pens and large silicone breasts stuffed, like full Valencia oranges, into the tight little shirts of young female reps. Their seductive eyes were inviting, as if asking me out for a romantic glass of red wine. In truth, I think they were attracted to my fragrance: Banana Republic Modern.

I did observe one small group of undercover realtors, essentially fishing for clients. I say small because as a group they were no taller than a team of pygmies—their sneaky tactics intriguing. They'd start their shtick by making small talk with Americans, at one point such as myself. They'd then segue into how great the project I happen to be looking at was, offering me advice and a business card should I ever need assistance in Panama. “Well thank you” I responded, “would you like some fries with that bullsh*t milkshake?”

I don't think anyone really knows when this real estate boom will end but there was certainly a lot of activity across all demographics there in Atlapa. Almost everything is based on speculation at this point which is good or bad depending on who you ask. It was refreshing to see a lot of Panamanians there, since I was under the impression that many of them are getting priced out of the city. (There are two of these conventions in Panama: one is aimed towards foreigners and the other towards Panamanians (this event being the latter)). The developers and agents were having a field day with so many eager buyers chomping at the bit, the janitorial crew was sweeping gently with that set of broom and dustbin that they like so much, and I—the scavenger—was simply having fun observing it all.

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