Nikki Beach Panama


Nikki Beach Panama

(11 votes)

Written by Matt Landau

Monday, January 29 2007

Shortly after I celebrated with friends the fact that Nikki Beach was coming to Panama, I went home to figure out just what the hell Nikki Beach actually was. I had feigned excitement and enthusiasm the way you might around a doctor boasting of a successful surgical procedure: caught in this middle ground rut where you don't really understand the subject, nor do you want to kill the mood. "A 40 hour hyper-evasive chest thoracoscopy. How exhilarating."

I started off my search on their website where photos of celebrities at various Nikki Beach locations are, I'm assuming, meant to be impressive. That is, if the visitor knows who the celebrities are, which I didn't. After surfing the site for a while, I still didn't really understand what a Nikki Beach was, other than some sort of over-the-top slumber party slash fashion line. I found a dazzling Nikki Beach watch for a few grand, a Nikki Beach linen jacket with hood, and a Nikki Beach gem-studded frisbee which you can only play with in-doors. But what good would it do, having all these great things, if I couldn't explain to my friends why they were so special?

Perfect timing: I ran into one of the Nikki Beach executives at a local pizzeria and he couldn't hide his anticipation. “We're really excited to bring Nikki Beach to Panama” he said, “because it's such a fun country. Our organization will fit right in.”

“Yea, Panama is great” I agreed, but what I was really thinking was how great it would be to have a full-sized wood-burning oven in my kitchen.

He went on, “and we're in the process of opening up two locations, one out in Santa Clara at the Casa Grande beach development and one on the Amador Causeway. Panama is gonna have Nikki Beach twenty four seven!”

I didn't want to embarrass myself or the Nikki Beach exec, but I really had no idea what he was talking about. “I have this friend” I told him, “who doesn't really understand the Nikki Beach concept. How do you usually explain Nikki Beach to people who don't get it?”

“Well, as you know, Nikki Beach is a lifestyle.” (I nodded in obvious accord.) “You just tell him that Nikki Beach is like the sexiest party in the world. It's the only beach club that like brings together the world's best fashion, music, and always the most beautiful people.”

“Right, everyone knows that part” I revealed, “but I was thinking about more in terms of the true meaning of a Nikki Beach.” At this point, I was just running my mouth, almost to the point of self-destruction. “I mean, the last time I did a Nikki Beach, it was the sexiest party ever. Beautiful girls, great fashion, really great music.” (I wasn't sure why I kept going, as it appeared I was only digging myself deeper and deeper.) “But how would you...like...describe...like...the core of...”

"Look," the trendy Nikki Beach rep interrupted, “the people who don't understand Nikki Beach aren't really even people at all to us. We don't want their business.” I sighed and shook my head in total agreement. “Exactly” I said. “We don't even care about them.”

This little harrowing moment, besides forcing me to contemplate whether or not I was really a person at all, sums up what Nikki Beach is all about. It's a resort model composed of several ingredients: one part fancy cabanas and beachfront pool areas, one part wealthy teenagers and twenty-somethings who want to buy fifty dollar glasses of champagne and one part near- arrogant level of superiority. Nikki Beach has locations in Miami, Saint-Tropez, Spain, and Mexico among others and if you've so much as heard of them, it means you are indisputably cool. It's a jet-setters hideaway built from the best woods, the finest service, and the world's trendiest people.

I came across a brochure which made me even more intrigued about the concept:

“You will find a unique blend of gorgeous people from all parts of the globe sharing languid afternoons and endless nights...one of the few places on the planet that champagne & coctails at noon, accompanied by contemporary European delights & mood enhancing tunes, is a consistent reality.”

It is not until you hear of languid afternoons and European delights, that you realize you desperately need them. I envisioned myself sitting propped up by a pool-side cabana sipping champagne with several of my soon-to-be best friends. The mood-enhancing tunes would be flowing from a nearby Tokyo-imported speaker system and my waiter, or my man-servant as I'd call him, would be at our every beckon call. One of my friends would have to leave early, due to “some business” he had to take care of on the French Riviera and the rest of us would make fun of the fact that he was using his father's jet.

A few days after my Nikki Beach revelation, I was sitting at dinner with some co-workers and fishing around my wits for some conversation topics, when it came to me. “You guys hear Nikki Beach is coming to Panama?” There was a short silence before one of my friends came out. “What the hell is Nikki Beach anyway?”

“Hah” I gasped. “Wouldn't you like to know.”