I tend to pride myself in being cool. I own several different types of sunglasses which I wear on varying occasions, my jeans have small, trendy rips in them, and I go to a club called The Gallery.

This place, in Plaza New York just off Calle 50 across from the World Trade Center, is supposedly the new hipster joint since the ever-standard Next has been temporarily closed. Because my friends hold my social status in such high regards, I decided to see what all the hype was about and casually make my way, one Saturday night, over to The Gallery where surely hundreds of women would be waiting for me. "Not right now Linda" I'd shrug. "I'm dancing with Cindy."

 
Because my friends are so popular, they got me on the list and I was allowed to enter free of charge. But once inside, I found it to be pretty boring. The club itself is not that big—about the size of a movie theater—and all the people were just standing around looking at me. “No autographs” I pleaded, but they just kept on snapping their photos. It was 1 AM and things hadn't really started yet.

 
The drinks were fairly expensive (about $5/per and $50 for the entire bottle) and I just found the music to be too loud and not up my alley. There were several attractive womens sitting near the bar and when they asked me for my phone number I gave them the wrong digits: not enough studmuffins to go around I guess.

 
The crowd was too young also. Lots of teenie bopper-looking girls if there exists such a thing in Central America. The last straw, was when I went outside to make a phone call, the bouncer—some big hyena of a man—wouldn’t let me back in without standing in line all over again and paying the cover charge. “Excuse me” I begged to him in the sort of voice that really said, “move aside or I’ll make you”. He didn’t budge and I decided The Gallery wasn’t quite cool enough for me, so I left and went to sleep.

 
Lying there in my bed, several of my friends called my cell phone and asked where I was. “Oh, I am up in the special VIP area” I told them. “The party up here is great, but you won’t be able to get in.” I then hung up the phone and fell asleep while watching a movie with Chuck Norris: Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Comments (5)

bro..: ... i'm telling you the list you want to know.. tuesday s6is wednesday mystik thursday buzz friday gallery saturday somehwere in casco viejo, s6is, decapolis(good for preparty), or any place 1 July 02, 2007 Mateo: Nice comment regarding the above, you have a nice layout. i tried each of your suggestions on the nights indicated and the only letdown was s6is on a saturday night. there was no one there yet but in true s6is style, they wanted some cash to get in. when you have time, can you make a B-list hotspot comment, for those who don't want to spill out lots of cash-iola? 2 July 11, 2007 elle.: best club review ever that is amazing. can i have your autograph? 3 October 24, 2007 lone ranger: Mystik question can you tell us about the best place to meet working ladies on their off nights? is there an after hours spot? 4 January 09, 2008 Mag: Student disco/club Hola! Do u have some good places to meet students. Maybe age (20)-24-(2. With a nice bar, dancefloor and maybe some RnB music? Or some 80`s music maybe? 5 January 27, 2008

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