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| Panama's Best Casino: Uncensored |
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| Written by Matt Landau | ||
| Tuesday, December 19 2006 | ||
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The Veneto Casino in El Cangrejo is, in our opinion, Panama City's best casino. Here's what they don't want you to know: the good, the bad, and the ugly. (*Note: new management has recently taken over the Veneto Casino and we plan on doing a follow-up assuming that they've improved most of the following)
When the Veneto arrived in Panama, as the country's finest casino, people welcomed it with open arms—the flashing façade appearing, like a super magnet, to lure vacationers and locals through its electrifying lobby and into its pleasurable core. The hotel rooms seemed to be first rate, the food came off as mildy innovative, and the staff appeared to genuinely appreciate the fact that you were there. Sitting at a lucky poker table one night, I recall overhearing a woman whispering to her husband, the way that you might upon letting someone in on a secret: “They're giving away free money” the woman said. “Go to the room and get that extra cash under the bed.” Now that I knew where they were hiding their money, I was tempted to beat the man to the room, and steal it. But moreover, this incident nudged me to look at the past, present, and future of this giant casino beast. Via Veneto looked at first, to be the perfect stomping ground to give away free money: a street begging for a serious and urgent facelift. A street with the potential to become the the new Calle Uruguay or ‘area bancaria', in a city where downtown repositions itself every couple years. What happened instead though, was that the dregs of the Veneto—that is, the unfortunate byproduct of having a Las Vegas-style casino with glitches in a third world city—started spilling out of the lobby and into the streets. Hard line taxi drivers started belligerently hounding gringos with the kind of offers that I once reserved for dark bullet-pocked side streets: propositioning vacationers for sex, drugs, and, according to one man, “all the beers that you could ever want to drink in your whole life.” Beggars—a low-class yet very observant breed—began their stints on Via Veneto as well, one amputee after another damning you to hell if you didn't buy their kid a Big Mac. Little boys selling lollypops learned to perfect their puppy dog faces down to the tear. The dim, crack-riddled walls of the buildings on Via Veneto began to cast this eerie glow on the pawn shops, cell phone accessory stores, and general filth that started to collect below. Why can't someone clean this street up? Not unlike a dysfunctional marriage, the new and exciting sheen at the Veneto wore off by its first anniversary: customer service took a plunge, shameless Btesh real estate advertisements sprung up, and the ugly side of prostitution (no pun intended) reared its head, one perky silicone teat at a time. As a regular at the casino and a paid member at the “Las Vegas style” spa, pool, and fitness center, I slowly started to see a gamut of glitches that—while keeping the Veneto from being truly first rate—were also downright annoying and a constant reminder that indeed, I was still in Panama. Regular 45+ minute delivery times on my food at the pool bar and Bet ‘n Win area led me to believe that the kitchen was perhaps actually hunting down the meat for my nachos? Come on guys, how hard is it to throw together a garden salad? The hotel rooms and services still noteworthy, but not by any means spectacular. They could use a lesson from The Bristol in the attention-to-detail department. The resident hookers are fun to an extent: they're like a wild zebra which the safari-going vacationers find exotic and untamed, however, there's something to be said (or maybe kept quiet) about prostitutes calling you from the lounge area as you check in on your first day. Additionally, I once heard one of the floor managers arguing first with two employees over something petty, and then with a hooker over money—now that's pathetic. Common guys, why not tone down the public embarrassment and keep the prostitution at a whispering avant-garde will ya? Oh and please keep out the transvestites while you're at it. That's just like throwing gasoline on a fire. I'm also consistently disappointed that the Veneto doesn't have a concierge. No, I'm not talking about uninformed teenagers who sit behind the tour desks handing out brochures for the Panama Canal. I once tested one of these girls, posing as a vacationer. “What tour would you recommend I take today? I need activities to occupy me until 7 tonight?” “Um, the only thing I can think of is the Panama Canal transit” she said. “But isn't that over by lunch time?” I asked. “Well, you could always take the Canal transit three or four times.” To be truly “five star”, I want some well-researched amigo who can get me reservations to the big fight or a table at the top restaurant at the drop of a dime. I want a concierge who can find me the nicest diamond in the city for my anniversary-visiting girlfriend. In general, customer service could be vastly improved, but in reality, it has been sufficient because Panamanians regard the service industry about as highly as they do the concept of sobriety. With the onslaught of American tourists over the next years though, these will be interesting changes to watch out for, to see if the Veneto lives up to its name, offering “superior customer service” as the “most friendly, elegant, and luxurious casino in Latin America.” It wouldn't be fair to bash on the Veneto without pointing out all the glorious things that keep me coming back. The Bamboo Sea Spa, for starters is a haven. The massages and salon services are about a seven out of ten but the social area, pool deck, and gym equipment are done to the tee. Further, the Veneto always maintains this certain level of nonchalance which is always appreciated in my book. No attitude. They don't mind if you're wearing a bathing suit or wearing sandals, and for that, gringos the world-over are thankful. The drink specials are booze-tacular and a select handful of the waiters are wholeheartedly on top of their game. As happens in any crowded nightlife setting, it can be tough to get the attention of a barmaid on a Friday night, especially when Mr. Docksiders and his scotch-sipping cronies won't move aside, but all in all, the Veneto is a Star Wars bar—people from all walks of life show up and have a good time. All these guidebook and websites who say the Veneto is a five-star hotel are kidding themselves. It's not a five-star hotel. At least yet. The sites that say the Veneto is built to accommodate the “sophisticated business traveler” are on crack: there's not even a fax machine in the business center! To see for yourself, check out their website which appears to have been translated to English by someone with two broken hands. Hasky did an admirable job opening and running perhaps Panama's best casino ever, but that feat couldn't have been all that hard. The Veneto's first year has been characterized by a lot of good things, among them decent revenue and significant press. It's time now though, for someone new to take over and to caulk all the cracks which Hasky and his crew left behind. To lift up the Veneto and its employees from Hasky's autocratic wake. Whether the Veneto Casino and Hotel becomes a spectacle or not, you'll probably still find me, schmoozing at the craps table with Henry Hawaiian shirt and Franklin fanny pack, there for the same reason everyone else is. Because of the free money they're giving away.
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| Last Updated ( Wednesday, August 15 2007 ) | ||
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