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| One Nightclub in Panama |
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| Written by Matt Landau | |
| Wednesday, February 20 2008 | |
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One is
Calle Uruguay's newest dig
and while not exactly on geographical Calle Uruguay per say, it falls under the
universal theme of the area. It's located across from Peperoncini in the old
Azucar building in Panama's party district and it's definitely worth a visit. They serve free drinks.
Upon walking into the joint, it became clear very quickly that it would be a good night. Women with breasts the size of small honeydews could be found dancing on the bar, much like a cult classic movie from the States in which a small town girl finds herself in the midst of nightclub stardom. Only difference here, was that one of the girls on the bar accidentally stepped in the plastic bin which held the cherries and nearly fell to the ground. Someone caught her before she broke her hip. All the drinks at One in Panama are free. Well, at least on the night I was there-the grand opening-they were, probably meant as some twisted promotion to create some hype. Who in the world would associate free drinks with a good time? I don't think it could be possible that drinks are free all the time, but who knows. Now this is my kind of place, I thought to myself upon ordering my third round of free vodka tonics for my friends. "This round is on me gang. Yeah, I know. I'm feeling super generous tonight." The layout is not terribly unlike other local hangouts we have in that area, accented by a nice lounge area in the back and four black doors that hide the bathrooms. There was a fifth door which appeared to be some sort of supplies closet, which brings up the good point if you really want to force a drunk person to think before using the toilet. That which sets One apart from its competition, in my opinion, is that they don't have any attitude (and of course the free drinks). At the front door stands a man the size of a bear, but he appears to just be placed there for decoration. There were no lists nor fussy bouncers and the girls behind the counter seemed to be having a great time; a nice reprieve from the Guru's and People's of the world who think they're god's gift to Calle Uruguay. I got news for you guys: unless you're trying to thaw out some meats, turn your air conditioning down a notch will ya? The night of grand opening which followed a soft opening the Wednesday before, and presumably a flaccid opening before that, saw the NFL's Jeremy Shockey partying in the VIP section. I was made aware of this detail when the DJ came on the loud speaker and asked everyone to cheer for the Giant's star (who's supposedly a part-owner in the club). No one knew who Jeremy Shockey was though. "Is that some kind of new drink?" I heard one girl ask. Behind the bar sat a line-up of frozen booze machines which you could see the barmaids replenishing with full bottles of quality liquor. Occasionally, they'd wander the club floor pouring shots down people's throats which got a rise out of the male contingent who enjoyed the sparkling boobs in their face. The females enjoyed this as well, seeing as though there's no way to a woman's heart like free Smirnoff. If you're tired of the loud, cold, and jam-packed options on Calle Uruguay trying to charge you ten bucks just to grace the club with your presence, One just might be the place for you. There's no dress attire, the gringo-owned staff appears to genuinely want you there, and the greatest marketing move of all: you don't have to pay for your drinks.* * I cannot guarantee that drinks are free all the time. |
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| Last Updated ( Wednesday, February 20 2008 ) |
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