Things I dislike about Panama


Things I dislike about Panama

(3 votes)

Written by Justin Gould

Thursday, September 21 2006

I like Panama, but there are certain things I haven't gotten used to and in regards to some things, I probably never will. Below are seven pet peeves that go in order from the most annoying to the least abhorrent. But make no doubt, they are all extremely irritating. This is not a diatribe against Panama or Panamanians, I'm just talking about things I don't like. I know that Panama is a country with a completely different history and background than the US and therefore adheres to a different set of norms. But some of this stuff is just plain ridiculous.

With the amount of taxis I take, I have to deal with this a lot, so that's why it's number one on the list. Many of you no doubt have had this experience. You know, when you hail a taxi, the taxi makes a complete stop and listens to where you have to go, then without saying a word drives off spraying your body with pebbles and dirt. I hate that. That is SO ANNOYING. Come-on asshole, is it that difficult to say, “not going that way” or “sorry”. What is your problem Mr. Taxi driver?

In Panama, people in service roles never display any sense of urgency when dealing with the public. Good customer service is virtually non-existent here. This was strikingly clear today when I had to go to the pharmacy. Sometimes I forget to drink lots of water after a night of revelry, so in anticipation of a seco induced headache, I decided to pick up some Panadol at the Rey Pharmacy. There was one woman working behind the counter with about 5 people including myself lining the counter waiting. She looked like a zombie- expressionless and oblivious to the sighs and groans of dissatisfied customers. Her movements were super slow as if she was making a Sunday breakfast for herself. Being expeditious does not exist here.

Here in Panama the men have staring problems. Maybe it's just my mid-western roots, but when another hombre makes eye contact with you and doesn't smile or say anything, it makes me slightly uncomfortable and actually pisses me off. The great Shawnee Warrior Tecumseh even said that when passing someone on a lonely trail; it is polite to make a friendly nod or word of acknowledgement. Not here. I know I'm in Panama, but where I'm from, when you catch someone's glance, you usually give a nod or hello- unless they look crazy. However, there are some exceptions. If you are straight and you happen to be stuck in Boys Town during the Gay Pride Parade when thousands of gay Chicagoans are completely blitzed, it's probably not a good idea to smile at incoming gazes. Unless you want the attention. In the mid-west, if you stare for a second without making any courteous acknowledgement, that is offensive and may be considered a challenge. In Panama, maybe it is the machismo or maybe people are far more wary of strangers here. I heard this is the only Central American country where this is so. I don't know what it is, but it's downright impolite and unfriendly. To clarify, Panamanians are great when you get to know them.

Another thing about the pharmacy that irks me is the fact that people are right next to you when you ask for what you want. What if you are a woman with a yeast infection or you have to order that bottle of colon blow. How embarrassing is that? Why do people allow this to continue? I feel this is just a violation of personal space and privacy. I don't want to buy extra-sensitive ribbed condoms for her pleasure in front the little old lady or the mom who has her inquisitive 11 year old son in tow. Or maybe I should just loosen up.

People take forever to call you back here and verbal agreements arranging times and dates to meet mean absolutely nothing. People here almost never call when they say they will. So why even give a time frame you are going to call someone. Just say, “I'll call you.” Just assume they will call days late or they won't call at all. Also, make the assumption that you will have to hunt them down.

Restaurants don't give out cardboard coasters. Bars and Restaurants in Panama give out napkins when they know full well that napkins stick to the condensation on the glass and follow your drink to your mouth where it often falls into your food. So I don't even use them.

The DJs here talk over songs constantly. I thought the whole point of a radio station was to get people to enjoy the music so more people will listen and in turn get more advertisers and make more money. Sometimes they'll chime in with the song and sing a line or two. Dude, your job is to spin records and make a comment after the song is finished- not to sing. How can we enjoy the music when the DJ yaps over the song every 15 seconds? There is one station that is the worst of them all. I'd write a nasty letter if I knew where to send it. They play a cackle over, and over, and over again. I just want to know why they do it.

Adjusting to life in a foreign country takes time and can sometimes be frustrating. Listen, I'm not coming down hard on Panama, I like where I live, I'm just venting about the things that bother me about my new home.