| Floatation Machines in Panama |
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| Written by Matt Landau | |
| Saturday, September 27 2008 | |
It was on the toilet paging through an old copy of Men's Journal when I came across an interview with celebrity Jeff Bridges and the question, Where's the weirdest place you've ever woken up? While it's difficult for written text to convey the pulse of silence, I imagined Bridges toiling with the locks of his beard and looking into the sky before revealing his answer. "A sensory deprivation tank," he said. "Invented by a friend John Lilly in the early 70s."
 "He used me as a guinea pig, and I'd float in a completely dark, soundproof tank filled with warm salt water," Bridges said. "The mind really takes off. I remember waking up in there with no sight, sound, or feeling, not sure if I'd really been asleep. When I got out, all the colors and sounds came rushing back." While my eyes continued reading the remainder of the interview, my mind had stopped several paragraphs back, hung up on the words ‘sensory deprivation tank' which, for the rest of the day, hung in my imagination like a hard-to-reach light bulb. I didn't know what a sensory deprivation tank was, but I knew I desperately needed to get in one as soon as possible. It was with that rare kind of coincidence that later in the evening a friend showed me a copy of the local newspaper in which an article detailed a new business offering more or less what Bridges had been describing. I called the number and made my appointment for the next morning, told only to bring a stick of deodorant and a comb. DriftAway is a small alternative spa in the Camino de Cruces shopping center in El Dorado, across from the Do-It Center and beside Bolas Sports Grill which by the way serves horrid pudding. The lobby is fairly generic, not unlike the other establishments, but behind the façade lies two of the most relaxing coffin-sized confinements in Panama City. If you don't spend a lot of time in coffin-sized confinements, let me explain. The concept behind the floatation tank, the owner explained, is a novel one: allow the body to float in a body-sized capsule filled with water, build the mood with ambient lighting and weird chakra music, then unleash the mind to take off in any which direction it wishes free of all distractions. "I'm sorry," I interrupted. "But did you say free from distractions? Call me crazy but what you just described sounds to me like a disturbing combination of being drowned and buried alive." The flotation tank itself looked a lot like a souped-up bobsled on intravenous, with various pipes and hoses running out the back: a fairly relaxing torture chamber is how I liked to think of it. Perhaps something you may see on the TV show Fear Factor. The session starts when you enter the floatation room, a seductive changing area with a nice shower, soaps, shampoos, and towels. Your flotation assistant will then give you an overwhelming checklist of instructions and precautions so to get the most from your experience: cover all small cuts or wounds liberally with Vaseline, put in earplugs tight, use the button on the left to control lights, the button on the right to control music, use the big button on the right to control the intercom, the towel on the wall for your shower, the washcloth on the wall for your face (but don't get it wet or it'll sting your eyes), the cushion for your neck (though its not recommended) should be inverted (not upright) or you may accidentally swallow an unhealthy amount of epsom salts. "Other than that," she said, "feel free to just relax." The experience itself is an out-of-body one, not unlike (I imagine) the feeling dogs have when they go to heaven. While one part of my brain took a snooze, the other ran wild with ideas about business, personal life, and how, if at all possible, I could acquire a flotation tank to put in my living room. It was a sensation unlike I've ever had before; one of total and utter tranquility. As counterintuitive as it sounds, the process of floating for sixty minutes in a dark peapod felt unusually organic and settling. Some people fall asleep, others just drift into a sublime state of relaxation. "So, how do the joints in your body feel?" the assistant asked my friend when we were through. "Do they feel relaxed? Revitalized, re-energized, reborn? Do you feel like you just woke up and are ready to take on the day head first, your mind clear and focused as if you've just woken up from a deep slumber?" "I feel like I just ate a pot brownie," my friend said. "I feel flexible like Gumby and I feel like I just ate a pot brownie." The room fell silent and it appeared the only appropriate thing to do was for us to leave. The staff at DriftAway was professional and educational helping us not only understand the procedure but learn about its history and medicinal implications. The prices are very reasonable if compared to something like a massage at $50/hour with various deals if you're buying more than one session at a time. Besides just relaxing music, they also offer hypnosis-like subliminal audio options such as "get rid of smoking" and "self confidence boost." For the first timer, I might wager that a "Calm down you're not going to die in this tank" session would be popular as would the "Don't pee in our flotation tank, we don't meditate in your toilet" selection which was not on the list either. There are a myriad of supposed benefits to the floatation chamber but so not to disappoint, simply go in and expect a new experience. Don't hope to cure your diabetes or improve your golf swing because you may be disappointed. If nothing else, should anyone ever interview you and ask where's the strangest place you've ever woken up, you'll at least have an interesting story to tell. |
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| Last Updated ( Monday, October 06 2008 ) |
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