| Royal Decameron Panama versus Playa Blanca |
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| Written by Matt Landau | |
| Tuesday, June 27 2006 | |
In the somewhat specialized world of all-inclusive beach resorts on the Pacific Coast that are within 90 minutes of Panama City, and that have yellow and blue in their company's logo, there are two clear archrivals: Playa Blanca and Royal Decameron Panama. Having visited both a couple of times now, I think I have a decent sense to compare the two. This will be a battle in the most authentic way—a battle with blood and guts and name-calling and crows.
 Round One: Staff Being a staff member at an all-inclusive resort can be taxing, I know. You have to deal with hordes of people who somehow feel like you owe them something. While the gluttons who visit these sorts of places are indeed entitled to what they paid for, they often act in ways they shouldn't—ways that are offensive to the staff: “Hey Paco or Pablo or whatever. Hey, yeah, bring me some of that pork-o chop-o over there will ya?” For this reason, I think that a good staff at an all-inclusive is simply one that shows tolerance and perhaps fakes a smile here and there. At Playa Blanca, the staff does just this. In some cases even, I've found them to be friendly, polite, and considerate. At the Decameron, on the other hand, I think the staff unfortunately reflects the resort's management—unorganized and despondent. Round one, the quality of the staff, goes hands down to the smiling elves and gnomes and pippies of Playa Blanca Beach Resort. Round Two: Food Cooking for three thousand guests is basically like cooking for jail inmates in that there's only a certain extent of care and precision that can be exercised. Buffets are a good solution to this and accordingly, the majority of the food at both places is served from a cafeteria-style line. Playa Blanca, while they only have one buffet restaurant, does a fine job of making their food edible. Their a la carte restaurant is right on the ocean and essentially serves the food from their buffet, but in an a la carte fashion. Decameron has a different problem: they have to feed way more people, and in doing so, they lose track of all quality and taste. Despite two of their a la carte restaurants, the food here is pretty lame. Lots of depressed-looking steamed vegetables, massive heaps of unintelligible meats, and other unsettling amounts of flash cooked foods. Round two, the quality of the food, has to go again to Playa Blanca. For the unappetizing display of mush and slop at most of Royal Decameron Panama´s restaurants is not edible. Round Three: Fun Factor As much as I've bashed on Decameron, they do have one thing really going for them: for whatever reason, they are always packed. They have some absurd number of guest rooms and when they're all full, which is most of the time (even in the rainy season), people are everywhere. Young people, middle-aged people, old people, people that are so old they don't even look like people any more—you get the idea. While this does mean thousands and thousands of pale-skinned tourists asking whether it's OK to eat the lettuce, at the same time, all the bars are always packed! The two discos they have actually resemble discos, as opposed, to Playa Blanca's funny excuse for one, which more reminds me of a cave or a dark waiting room. Having lots of people at your resort has its plusses and minuses, and in the case of the fun factor, it's definitely a plus. Round three, the fun factor goes to the super-fun pool contests, drunken middle aged men, and above-par nighttime activities that are the Royal Decameron Panama. Round Four: Beach and Pools To me, all-inclusive resort is synonymous with wide white-sand beaches and sprawling pools with waterfalls and fountains and beautiful people in skimpy clothing. In this category, both hotels rank pretty well. They're located about 5 minutes from each other so the beach area is essentially identical. Decameron definitely has a longer stretch of beach as well as more pool space and those all-too-important pool fountains. Both have great little beach cabanas that look like they belong in Corona commercials and plenty of easily-accessible bars/snack areas. The slight edge of Decameron in this category becomes null though, for one reason: the pools are kind of gross. The water quality the two times I've been there has been near-mank and supposedly last week, they got a large wave of ocean water which flowed into the pools and dining areas making everything wet and salty. Additionally, the property is so big, its impossible to find the person you're looking for—a walk around the pools taking like 45 minutes. Because of this, and because I simply am not a huge Decameron fan, round four, the cleanliness and privacy of the pools and beaches has to go to Playa Blanca. If it was my first time, I might say that Decameron wins this round. Round Five: Attitude This one is simple. I don't like having fight for restaurant reservations at an all-inclusive. I don't like men with radios telling me that I cannot sit in a seat because it's reserved for someone. I don't like people hauling me out of the pool during my morning laps because swimming isn't allowed until 9 AM. I don't like guards nudging me on the shoulder telling me I cannot sleep on the beach, that I must return to my room. Each of these things has happened to me at Decameron and for that reason, the fact that they have all these rules that make a vacation more like an obligation, I prefer Playa Blanca. Their laid back attitude and “do as you feel” approach to rules, lures me back every time. Round five, hands down, Playa Blanca. Round Six: Check In and Check Out Royal Decameron Panama loses major points again. They give you a little metal key on a lanyard which to me is unacceptable in the world of functioning hotels of this millennium. Common, get with it! They also don't allow you into your room until 5 PM, which is total bullsh*t considering check-out is at 1 PM. Playa Blanca is up to speed with their electronic room keys, which can be replaced if lost (something that Decameron refuses to understand). They also have normal check-in times and a friendly check-out policy. At Decameron, I feel cheated, almost offended, at how I am treated. It´s like you are meant to feel lucky and priviliged to be there, where in reality, anyone who has $50 can stay a night. This is not the Ritz guys, lose the attitude. Round six, Playa Blanca. Round Seven: Overall You can probably guess where I'm going here. I simply don't like the feel of Decameron. They have better facilities and much more to offer, but I really am thrown off by their ineptitude in many areas. Going there, for me, feels more like an exercise in cattle herding—check-in resembling a bingo tournament where only if you are lucky, will your number be called and your room key issued. The staff at Decameron just isn't customer-oriented and neither is the management. Taking up a problem with them is like talking to a stone cat or a stone turtle. It´s almost impossible to deal with their reservations people and every time I´ve ever tried to get in touch with other management, it´s impossible. The systems there are simply piss poor. To me, the hoppin' nightlife and fun factor at Decameron is not worth the hassle and mistreatment that you experience. At Playa Blanca you are giving up some of those luxuries, but I definitely think it's a more relaxing and pleasurable experience—the way a vacation should be.   Royal Decameron Panama Beach Resort & Casino Farall�n, Panama Telephone - (507)993-2255 Fax - (507)993-2254 Website: decameron.com Playa Blanca Hotel & Resort Apartado Postal 8437 Zona 7, Panamá Playa Blanca, Farallon, Panamá Tel: (507) 264-6444 Fax: (507) 264-6773 Website: playablancaresort.com |
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| Last Updated ( Thursday, August 21 2008 ) |
Although at the time this article was written, Playa Blanca Resort seemed like a David next to the Goliath of a resort - Decameron. But in the months to come, Playa Blanca Resort is rapidly expanding. They will have a Conference Centre, a Casino, and hopefully a better disco. They also will have the world's second largest swimming pool at 17ha of water (gives a new meaning to "going for a lap"). Both hotel and new private residences at Playa Blanca are under construction, that's why some recent guests saw some dust or trucks. 
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